My other show at Edinburgh this year…
The Unnatural Selection at Edinburgh 2013
My stand up show at Edinburgh this year is called The Unnatural Selection. I’m doing it with Hannah Silvester, Mike O’Callaghan and a different guest performer each night. We cannot guarantee that Charles Darwin will be there in person.
Edinburgh Day Twenty Seven
27 August 2012
Rob K drives us back home. It is a journey that takes over six hours. I can’t wait to get home.
When I do get home Lilian, my daughter, meets me. She is very happy to see me. She has learnt some new dance moves and gives me a little performance. ***** Leon Clifford 2012.
Numbers:
Overall: 24 days, 379 people, £462.34, 5 Jiao and 5 Swiss Francs
Average: 15.8 people £19.26
Most amount of people: 35
Most amount of money: £52.25
Least amount of people: 4
Least amount of money: £3.57
Running: 27.46 miles in 274.66 minutes
Deep-fried pizzas eaten: 0.25
Stars received from Broadway baby: 3 (Review)
Other shows seen: >50
One of our posters, framed and on my wall.
Edinburgh Day Twenty Six
26 August 2012
Set List is held in the Just the Tonic caves. Rob J and I get a 2for1 password (I think it was Piano Tuna) from a flyerer, so it is £5.50 each. Four comedians are given 5 unseen subjects to riff on. The subjects come on the screen, they do a few minutes on the subject and when they feel they have got all they can out of the subject, they look back up at the screen and on to the next subject.
We see Andrew Maxwell, Sara Pascoe, John Robbins and Paul Foot. They all do well and get laughs out of all the subjects. It works best when they take the subject on an unexpected track, somewhere that you haven’t considered. Paul Foot does an extraordinary job. He goes very abstract, but manages to get it to all ‘make sense’ and lands some proper punchlines.
I wake on our last show-day to feel irritable. I have seen the finish line and am eager to get home and see my wife and daughter. The end of this day cannot quick enough.
I have been carrying my camera around in my bag for the last three and half weeks and hardly taken any photos. I go out with the intention of taking a few photos today.
The Tourists are in high spirits on their last day and put on a good show. I hope to see them again soon.
The Tourists – James, Tony, Rohan and Kate
Oh how embarrassing – I didn’t know they were taking a photo. That’s me hard at work, ‘working the buttons’.
I do some touristy shopping and go in some of the many Scottish souvenir shops to get presents for my wife and in-laws.
I realise that I haven’t had any haggis to eat the whole time I have been in Scotland. I remedy this immediately in a nice pub on the High Street.
My haggis is very nice, but a girl seating near me has a very impressive looking fish’n’ chips. I tell her that it looks good and she says “thank you”, as she had made it herself. Perhaps she thought I was congratulating on her choice.
The BCC Lions decide (after my suggestion) to not flyer on our last day. This gives Rob J and I the opportunity to see the play that is on directly before our show. It is called Made for Each Other. I have talked to Monica Bauer, the writer since our second day in Edinburgh and I really like her a lot.
Made for Each Other is fantastic. It received three 5 star reviews and I talked to quite a few audience members after they had seen the show and they all said how much they liked it. Monica is hoping to come back next year and put Made for Each Other in a bigger venue.
Without flyering we get 10 people in to the show. 2 audience members are from Portugal and 2 are from Argentina, but they all seem to have a good grasp of the English language.
We turn the last show into a party with party poppers, party hats, heavy metal, vodka, balloons and nibbles. Whoever said you couldn’t tell jokes while Cancer Bats are playing… It is a lot of fun and everyone has a good time.
Rob K closes the show with a conga, which snakes out of our room and into the bar. This receives a lot of attention. We then do what all party animals do at the end of a party – tidy up. We may be revellers, but we are responsible revellers.
A bit of the mess
As we are tidying up, quite a few people try to come into the room who are expecting The Tibetan Book of the Dead – The Musical. There was an administrative error that had the musical down as being on the first half of the festival and the 26th. I tell the people waiting that it was an error and it is not going to be on. There is a woman who had already seen the show, loved it and had brought a friend along to see it. She is very disappointed.
I should say that although we turned the show into a party, we still made it entertaining. I wouldn’t want to just make it in to a self-indulgent mess. In fact, the audience did enjoy the show and were very complimentary.
Posing ninnies
We don’t have much time to clean as we have tickets for Catie Wilkins. After doing a show that consisted of drinking vodka and letting of loads of party poppers, it is a bit of a comedown watching Catie Wilkins, the most mild-mannered comedian we have seen at the Fringe. Perhaps the most mild-mannered comedian I have ever seen.
I did enjoy Catie Wilkins’ show. There weren’t many in to see it though and at one point I looked around to see a row of people look thoroughly bored. The delivery is quiet and shy, so you do need to put some work in and pay attention in order to get it.
After the show one of my Robs says that he didn’t enjoy Wilkins’ show, but I’m not sure if he is joking. He might have just been saying it to set-up some mock-sexist jokes. I approve of pretending to have a strong opinion on a subject for no other reason, but to set up a joke.
Rob K and Liane break their battered snickers hymen. They very much enjoyed their battered Mars bars a couple of nights ago and so wanted to ‘do’ another battered chocco bar. They say it is good, but not as good as the Mars.
The last show of this year’s Fringe I go to see (with my Robs) is The Greatest Show on Legs. It is a chaotic sketch comedy show from Martin Soan that Malcolm Hardee used to do. It is nuts (in more ways than one). Bob Slayer is part of the troupe for this run and is a good pick for this show, as he is willing to degrade himself and push the barriers. He ends this final show naked sitting on the stage for along time after the show has officially finished, while the Martins tidy away all their props.
Edinburgh Day Twenty Five
25 August 2012
Another crap run.
2.9 miles in 27.47 minutes
I should have been running much further than this.
It rains on the way to The Tourists. There are not many people around to be flyered, so they have another poor turnout. However, they put on their best show so far and the few people that have come to see the show seem to really appreciate it and find it funny.
It rains for the rest of the day. Before heading over to Bar 50 for our show, I stop off at I Heart Coffee on Leith Walk. There are about 10 good coffee shops on Leith Walk and they all seem to get people in.
We have a very good show with more people from the Black Country in. We have had good attendance on the weekends with good appreciative crowds. Daniel Kitson isn’t performing his show on the weekend, which I think is because he gets the wrong crowd in, but other than the first night, when we had a rowdy stag party, we have not encountered that issue.
Numbers 25 people £32.41
When ordering chip shop chips in Edinburgh you get asked “want anything on ‘em?” Each time, I’ve answered “salt and sauce”, out of respect for the local culture. And each time they hear my reply, in my non-Scottish-Tipton-tones, they always check that I know its brown sauce. They must have had some bad experiences with foreigners returning soiled chips.
Rob J and I go to see Claudia O’Doherty. I don’t know anything about her. We bought tickets because she was nominated for the main award for the best show.
I really enjoyed O’Doherty. There is a really strong idea that backs up the show and she is really suited to it. There are some ‘acting’ bits she does that make me laugh so hard it is painful. Although, it does seem to dip at some points, so I found it a very good show that could be even better.
We also ‘do’ Gareth Richards. He used to be one of Frank Skinner’s sidekicks on his radio show, which I liked. Another weird reason to see a show.
I really enjoyed his show: Introvert. I like the way he deals with the subject and still manages to get in lots of proper jokes. However, he has one joke that is clearly meant to be a big one. He pauses after the punchline and Rob and I laugh, but no one else does. The failure of the joke (with a hit rate of 2 out of 40) amuses Gareth and makes him snort loudly into the microphone. This is quite nice for me, as I feel superior. Rob and I got the joke that 38 lesser audience members did not.
Edinburgh Day Twenty Four
24 August 2012
At midnight Rob J and I get a 2for1 and go to see a compilation/chat/chaotic mess show called Midnight Rumble hosted by Eleanor Conway.
As we wait to go in to a nice little shipping crate like venue we are handed a survey, which included questions like ‘what is the most embarrassing thing you have ever done?’ Rob J and I decide that if we had an answer for these questions we would save them and use them in our own routines and so do not complete the survey.
Midnight Rumble needs a drunken audience to work. As the host (as well of 2 out of the 3 guest acts tonight) get crowd members to discuss their sex lives and do weird stuff. Tonight a man eats a raw unclean potato and a woman licks a man’s belly button.
We have a very good show and get a good return for the amount of people. We get a couple of people in from the Black Country, which is always nice.
Numbers: 14 people £20.70
Rob J and I go to see Return of the Lumberjacks at the large room in The Assembly Rooms. It is a quality show with the very capable Craig Campbell, Glenn Wool and Stewart Francis with guest Tony Law.
This is the third time I have seen Tony Law in the last couple of weeks and he is has grown on me. He does some different material tonight and it really works. He is a bit ‘out-there’, so it is good to see him do so well in such a big room.
It was a very good show, just a shame we decided to go on the balcony. There was very little legroom and we were too far away from the action.
On the way back we see 2 groups of skinny teenage boys fighting outside a chip shop. They punch each other a few times, make little impact on each other and then sulk off.
Edinburgh Day Twenty Three
23 August 2012
I didn’t run at all when Liwen was here and neither did I run yesterday as I was recovering from getting ‘home’ at 4am. Today, I manage to drag myself around the loop.
2.8 miles in 25.43 miles
I have the most enjoyable time at The Tourists so far. They seem a bit more free than previous shows and go off-road quite a bit with ad-libs, although this does it make it difficult with the sound cues.
Rob K’s girlfriend, Liane is Edinburgh for the last few days and she comes to the show. Rob K is emcing today and does a grand job. I go on second and feel fairly satisfied with my performance. I feel rested and so can add energy when needed.
While on stage I notice an audience member, Tom, do something with his phone. I think he might be a reviewer or he could be sending a text or could be looking for something to do to dull the boredom. At the end of the show Rob K and Liane say that they think Tom is a reviewer.
Numbers: 16 people £18.02
Rob J and I go on the hunt for a deal. At The Underbelly we get 2 for 1 on Tiffany Stephenson a few minutes before the show starts. The layout of the room is not good with seating equally spread out in 3 distinct areas. Attendance is poor with only about 25% of seats taken.
Stephenson has some great material and I can imagine it working really well in comedy clubs. Unfortunately for us, she seems very tired and distracted today. She keeps on looking over at the technician or at the empty seats and even spends some time inspecting her nails. It is a shame we didn’t catch her on a different night.
Edinburgh Day Twenty Two
22 August 2012
At 00:45, Rob J and I go to see The Alternative Comedy Memorial Society. We don’t know what we are getting ourselves in to. It is hosted by Thom Tuck and John-Luke Roberts. There are lots of comedians on including the well-known like David O’Doherty and Josie Long. In most, but not all cases, the acts are trying out very experimental stuff. We see an act in Norwegian and we see a custard pie fight.
There is a very cliquey feel to the night. The hosts let us know that there are 5 heckles that are allowed. One of them is something like “do you need a woman to help you with that?” Each time someone shouts out one of the approved heckles, certain sections of the audience roll around in laughter.
At the end of each act, the hosts come back on stage and shout “a failure”, which is met by the audience replying “a noble failure”. This makes the whole thing feel a bit like entering a cult. However, I like that experimentation is being encouraged.
The show finishes at 3am and I found a few bits inspiring, a few bits were fun and as I haven’t been to this sort of event before I find it fascinating and thus worthwhile. I don’t think Rob J found it a worthwhile experience, as I don’t think there was much that you could describe as particularly funny or well-developed and I guess that was what he was looking for.
I had 3 drink spilling experiences at The Alternative Comedy…
- A member of the Pleasance staff bangs in to me on my way into the venue spilling some of my drink.
- While I am sat watching the show a guy behind me spills his pint on the table and down my back. He sees what he has done, apologises and buys me a pint. Here’s a free tip for you: If you want to get strangers to buy you a drink, sit in a precarious place where it is likely that people will spill stuff on you.
- Late in the show, I return from the toilet and find that Rob J has accidentally knocked over my pint. Well that’s what he says. I do wonder if it is out of anger from watching an unfunny show.
After my late night I feel knackered all day and don’t put in the most energetic of performances at our gig, but it is ok.
Numbers: 20 people £14.60
Edinburgh Day Twenty One
21 August 2012
It is after midnight and we are still playing Guess Who. Rock ‘n’ Roll.
We get into the Horne Section at 00:40. It is by the far the biggest venue that we have been in so far. I’d guess the Grand at The Pleasance Courtyard seats around 800.
The show involves Alex Horne, his band and 3 guest acts. Alex Horne does very playful stuff. He gently mocks members of his band and the audience. He does some quite grand stuff involving lots of audience members, as well as doing crap puns. It is a good mix and works really well.
The guests were The Boy with Tape on His Face, Peacock and Gamble and Phil Jupitus as Porky the Poet. The band continues to play music while the acts are on. The acts sometimes direct the band. It is a lot of fun.
I make a couple of mistakes with my sound cues at The Tourists, but none are catastrophic.
Liwen and I eat in this place (Vittoria?), where we ate the last time we came to Edinburgh in 2009. She had mussels last time and they are still on the menu, so she orders them again. Liwen loves muscles, which is why she is married to me.
The 2012 mussels aren’t nearly as big as the whoppers in 2009, but she still very much enjoys them.
After lunch we watch some free afternoon comedy: Angela Barnes and Matt Richardson at Espionage. We are sleepy and so are the rest of the crowd. Both Angela and Matt are really good, but they get little reaction from the 30 – 40 strong crowd. I think people were enjoying it, but were just too laid back to laugh.
Liwen helped flyer again and then had to leave just before the start of the gig. I miss her the instant that she leaves.
We have what should be an awful gig – a small handful of people who have to leave after half an hour. However, we decide to do a half hour version of the show. We all rush through and it is fast paced, silly and fun.
After 30 minutes I close the show by saying “It would be pretty shameful of me to ask for money when we’ve only done half a show… so give us your money!” I quite enjoy the money side of the gigs. I don’t think the Robs do.
Numbers: 5 people £3.57.
Edinburgh Day Twenty
20 August 2012
I go to ‘work’ at The Tourists, while Liwen goes on a three-hour walking tour. I meet up with her later and she has had a great time and she made a new little friend called Karina.
Karina comes to our show on the night. She laughs throughout, but I think she struggles, as she is from Germany and so some of the wordplay is hard for her to get. In general we have a pretty good show.
Numbers: 12 people £12.21
I take Karina and Liwen to somewhere to eat. What else, but a curry? Mosque Kitchen!
We then go and meet the 2 Robs at The Canon’s Gait to see Tribute, where established comedians perform some of their material that has been inspired by a well known comedian. We get James Dowdeswell and another blast of the Canadian whirlwind Tony Law.
I’d seen James Dowdeswell quite a few years ago when they were doing stand up upstairs at The Little Civic, where I also Reginald D Hunter and I’m not certain, but I think I also saw Jon Richardson there. I remember the few comedy nights we went to at the Little Civic were excellent, but poorly attended. I remember Reg D doing a bit about having his flies undone that absolutely slaughtered me. I have seen Reg D quite a lot of times since, but I’ve never seen him do this bit again.
Tribute is good. I like James Dowdeswell a lot and I would like to see him again.
The idea of Tribute is that after the performance the comedian sits down and the audience are invited to guess who it was a ‘tribute’ to. They then talk to the host about their idol. It’s nice, not brilliant, but nice.
Liwen, Karina, Rob K and I go to The Pleasance Dome to find a show. We get tickets for Alex Horne’s The Horne Section with Peacock and Gamble, The Boy with Tape on his Face and Phil Jupitus.
The show isn’t starting until 00:40, so we have some time to kill. We sit in The P Dome (or P Do if you like) and play Guess Who. We use our minds rather than the boring old board game. It is great fun, although Rob K plays it a bit differently to the rest of and picks people that German and Chinese girls are unlikely to guess. Rob likes his games to be a bit more complex and longer.
